All i Know...............

Today i woke up feeling a tinge of missing you. I pretend i don't know why, think of calling you before my sane self kicks in. I always run, run when everyone thinks i ought to stand and wait (i guess it comes from my rebellion of not wanting to be told what to do). Leaving isn't always easy and no matter how many have walked out, i cant pretend that it gets easier. It doesn't, u think about it, you strategize of how if things went your way  nothing would be wrong then you hit reality, that everything did go wrong and there is nothing you can do.
I'd rather walk away with my pride left, i did what i did, i said what i felt and now i can take the end result of it. Is it easier for me? No.

Do i know what the future holds for us? No.

I don't know that and much more and i wouldn't unless i bought a snowing globe where i could shake it every time i wanted to see my future. All i know is that it gets easier, not easier like snapping your fingers but easier like trying to teach a child his alphabets and with time it is a distant memory.

Nothing Big.

Talking to strangers has always been easy you know,  they don't know you so they wont judge most times and they probably get it when those around seem not to get it........but be careful it may sting you when you are not watching.
I thought you were a preety cool dude(i still do), you got character, good conversation and the most amazing person to hang around with. I said i liked you,i like your conversation, character and all but doesn't mean im hitting you. I still respect the lady.On most days,ur cool. On other days, you think i got a motive. I know trust is earned but i also know i have proven myself so cast your "stupid" fears aside. well maybe for a sec you should think and know that im just trying to be your  friend, nothing big.

DO YOU BELIEVE?

Do you believe in yourself? Really believe in yourself? Most of us say we do but words and actions are different. We speak but yet we wont own it through our actions.
When i was young, i had trouble letting go of the past(we all do at some point). I had lost a sister to sickle cell and i thought i might as well give up on myself so for a year i did not take my meds, only when i felt 'good' enough would i take. My mum finally found out and she tried to get me back to taking the meds but she couldn't get through to me until she said, " I believe you are going to get better, i have always believed since you were born but you are growing up and you need to have your own faith. I have faith in you but my faith cannot save you if you do not have faith in yourself." I immediately went back to taking my meds.
Truth is most days we want the world to believe in us yet we do not believe in ourselves. We want the world to validate us and it is not necessary.
Your faith is who you are, it is what makes the dreams that you have a reality..........so believe in yourself, own it!